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For better or worse, men generally value power, competency, efficiency and achievement. They are always trying to develop skills and prove themselves. In fact this is not ungodly. It's actually a good way to gain self confidence. These things only become a problem when they are done out of wrong motives and take the place of God.

For most men, fulfillment comes through success and accomplishment rather than sharing and relating. It is the ability to be self sufficient and competent that is most fulfilling to a man.
A man, often takes pride in doing things all by himself and doesn't always see we were meant to work together!

Girls... what motivates a man?
A man is motivated when he feels trusted and respected. Trust your man to energize him! He'll give his best performance when he feels loved!


What do Men Really Want?
In a relationship, a man has two main needs: companionship and yes you've guessed it, sex! With regards to sex, it's more than looks that drives men wild, it's attitude. He wants a woman to captivate his imagination. Someone confident who wants him as much as he wants her. Someone that will tease him, force him to chase her and yet will also allow him to capture her! He also wants more than anything a soulmate and friend. Someone loving, caring, affectionate and tender who he can talk to have fun with. He wants someone to love him unconditionally who's there for him yet also someone who he can be there for!

He wants a best friend that will laugh at his jokes, no matter how bad they are! Someone that will take an interest in the things he likes. Someone that will not try to change him, yet who will help him to improve and grow where needed. He wants someone that will trust, respect and admire him. His ideal partner will focus on his good qualities more than than his faults.

How a girl can make him feel special . . .
1. Tell him you wouldn't change a thing about him. (even though it's not true!)
2. Don't interrupt him when he speaks.
3. Be his biggest fan even when he doubts himself.
4.
Listen to his kind of music
5. Laugh at his dumb jokes
6. Boys need respect (lol)... respect him:)
9. Trust him completely.
10. Drive when he's tired.
11. Look in his eyes and listen when he talks.
12. A girl should always take his side.


4 things to beware of!

1) It's a mans' natural instinct is to want to 'fix' things - including you!
2) He is not always a good listener.
3) Men don't like unsolicited advice - he's more likely to respond if you refrain from always giving advice!

4) It's good for a man to have male friends. Breaking up your his friendships will emasculate him and he won't be worth having!!!

how a man deals with stress
Do not expect your man to be responsive when he has a problem. When stressed he is more inclined to withdraw to find a solution to his problem than to want to talk it over with someone else. He will come back but its a natural process and it may take some time before he emerges so be patient! Too much pressure and he'll withdraw further.


what women do wrong
- written by a man!
The biggest complaint men have about women is that they are trying to change them. Men are like children, by constantly telling him what to do he'll feel controlled and put up defenses. The best way to change a man (if he's actually letting you down) is to love (encourage) him as if he's got no faults(ha), but gently show him where he's letting you down - i.e. don't give him or give in to everything! He'll soon realise he hasn't been playing ball and he'll want to improve himself! If anything remember the following rule: men love to improve themselves but hate being improved. The psychology is simple - male ego and pride are our biggest problem and easily dented, so be firm but gentle!


4 things guaranteed to upset a male!

1) Frequently offer unsolicited advice

3) Change tack every 10 seconds during a conversation!

4) Expect him to react like a woman!

5) Try to change him!

posted by 光文shinezwen | 1:48 PM | 0 comments

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

5 Reasons He Won't Commit - Yet

Not all men are freaked out by 'forever', but the ones who are say they're not saying 'never' either, discovers Clara Lee.

It's been done before: men have bought diamond rings, proposed, manoeuvred their way into suits, even been known to enrol in salsa classes weeks before their wedding, to prove they're just as committed as their brides-to-be are to staging a show-stopping first dance as a married couple. Men have participated in the ultimate display of commitment - marriage - so we know they can do it. It's just that they won't do it at a time when most women just have to have the ring - or at least a definite plan that they're headed in that direction.

Although we're of the same species, are men a different kind of animal when it comes to commitment? Are women born sprinters towards Commitment Country, while men are natually snail-paced? We got some answers straight from the horse's mouth.

  1. "I do" sounds freakishly like "I'm doomed!" Many women can't wait to tie the knot so that they can truly get started on the next chapter of their lives. However, a number of men see marriage as a large stop sigh signalling the end of their happy bachelor times. Albert*, 34, says, "At this point in my life, it's simply social suicide. I do a lot of travelling with the guys, and if I get married, I know it's goodbye to all that." A simple night of poker, says Albert*, will become a contentious issue once he's signed marriage papers. "I love my girlfriend and I will settle down, eventually," adds Tim*. "But not now." In other words, it's not you. It's him... and his friends.
  2. He has the time to wait. Many men go into a relationship without any idea where it might be in a week, much less in six months or two years. When faced with "the next level", they realise they're not sure you're what they're looking for. And they would like to have a little look-around, just to see what they're missing. And hey, they have the time. "It's a little unfair," says Eric*, 33, "but men don't feel pressure to have kids at a certain age. We actually do have the luxury of time." Unless, Eric* explains, the guy is following a self-imposed timetable: marriage by 28, first kid by 30, second by 32. "Most of the time, at least for my friends," he adds, "it's the girl who threatens to walk away from the relationship because she has to have kids already." Some of his friends have opted to take the plunge while others have said they'll wait for someone younger who has more time.
  3. He thinks he's going to have to save you. Lee*, 31, says, "I don't want to start planning anything major until I can afford the ring she wants, the big wedding, the gown, the house, everything. My wife has to be happy and materially comfortable." Machismo is not dead - it is alive and well and keeping those wedding bells at bay. While it's sweet that they're more than willing to foot the bill - all the bills - it's a little worrying if they think you come with a steep price tag. Most men don't know there are other options, such as cooperation and sharing, and until you explain this possibility to them, they'll be sidestepping Tiffany's.
  4. He's been badly burnt. While there's no scientific proof that women are m ore emotionally resilient than men, this certainly seems like a fact. More women are willing to give commitment a second go even though their previous serious relationship went awry, but men take a while to recover from a near-death experience. If he barely managed to crawl away from his last relationship with a severely battered ego, don't expect him to be up and about any time soon. He may show signs of emotional health, but he's not going there again this time, at least not until he's sure. "I thought everything was going great," says Paul*, 32, of his one-year engagement. "Then she calls it off on the day we get our wedding invitations. Next time, I'll do what women do: I'll look before I leap. I'll look for about two more years."
  5. It's you. He might not want to hunker down with you but just can't say it. "didn't have the guts to hurt my girlfriend because she's a really nice person," says Michael*, 32. "But she wasn't The One." So he waited for her to realise that for herself - which hurt just the same. And, for the longest time, she called him a commitment-phobe, when all he really was, was a coward.

Extracted from Female magazine

posted by 光文shinezwen | 9:31 AM | 0 comments

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Is He Worth It?

Time is of the essence when it comes to meeting Mr. Right. Here's how to tell if the one you're seeing now is worth your while.

For Weeps

He's got roving eyes
As long as you're the hottest girl in the room, you'll have his undivided attention. However, should a leggier lass in a shorter skirt walk by, his eyes would follow in her direction.

He talks too much
If his idea of a conversation involves a 20-minute monologue on his brilliant saves on the soccer field, walk out immediately.

He only says yes
It's great that a guy respects your opinions but if he constantly gives in to whatever you want, the yes-man will soon bore the hell out of you.

He orders you about
Even in this age of sexual equality, ladies should still be treated like ladies. If he oreders you to fetch his newspapers, get the car and answers the phone, drop him like a hot potato!

He's always unavailable
We're not asking for a man to be our second shadow but surely it's reasonable to expect him to be around when we're down with the flu? If you're hearing his voicemail more than from him, reconsider.

He's indecisive
You can't get him to make up his mind on anything. Ask him if he's available for dinner on the day after tomorrow, and he'll give a non-committal reply. Commitment-phobe alert!


For Keeps

He listens
He shows a genuine interest in what you have to say and respects your opinions. When you're talking, he responds appropriately to show he's paying attention.

He's spontaneous
He's always suggesting interesting things the two of you could do together. This shows he makes an effort to keep the flames of desire burning.

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